I did not participate in the madness that is Black Friday. Mostly because it is too dark and cold and you’d have to pay me to get up that early. But I have been to a couple of stores since then. Here is my report:
I went to Walmart the other day to return some spray adhesive that did not have a nozzle. I walked in, got my sticker from the Return Guy and headed to customer service. When I saw how far back the line stretched and snaked around I did a 180 and decided everyone needs a $2.96 can of glue that doesn’t work. At least for the time being I will hold onto it and buy another can, with a nozzle, rather than do an exchange. Those lines were much more manageable. In fact there was no waiting at register 25. At least not before we got in line.
I’m pretty certain that whoever invented the whole self-checkout craze did not go shopping with 3 kids by him/herself. Kid #1 kept insisting that she wanted to scan “just one more” item. Mother kept insisting not today. “Look at the line. There are like 12 people behind us now. I said you could do one!” Kid #2 kept grabbing everything he could reach off the conveyor belt just because he could. Kid #3 was pretty much just sitting there looking cute. (Thankyou!) But the machine kept yelling at me to place the item in the bag. It’s in there, I swear. I do want to bag the item. I did bag the item. What do you want from me? My firstborn? She’s yours. (I’m totally kidding!)
Today I thought I would brave Target (while kid #1 was at school). I’m laughing as I type this. If only they had had a self-checkout! I finished my shopping and got in line. Again, no waiting. The little Grandma behind the register, (and I mean my Grandma’s age, not my Mom’s age who is a Grandma) handed me my diet cola and said, “You need to read those numbers to me. Starting from here all the way to the end.” Her problem you see, was that she couldn’t see. And the little bugger wouldn’t scan for her. And in her defense those numbers (all 59 of them) were really really small. So I started reading the numbers to her. I was almost at the end and she sighed, kind of annoyed-like and said, “you’ll have to start over. And you’ll have to talk loud. I can’t hear you.” I almost busted up. (Maybe you had to be there.) So, I started over. Very loud and slow, 3…7…2.
It took… a while. But eventually that diet Coke was mine. And one never tasted so good I tell you! Totally worth the wait! (All 37 minutes!)
I think tomorrow I’ll shop online.